i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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