I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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