just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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