The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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