Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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