4 words: hood of his car
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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