I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
