Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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