i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
only you would photoshop your dick
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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