After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I can tuck mytits in my pants
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
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Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
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before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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