When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you win again, gameday.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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