Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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