It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
