Grow some girl-balls and come out already
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
