I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
