I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We left an ass print on the piano.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
is that a dick in a sweater?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
