dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
