Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i love accidental penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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