He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
the room spins SO much faster in panama
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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