Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
