dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I think im going to throw up on grandma
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
