It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
