just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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