Do you still have your period?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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