I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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