and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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