In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
