she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
