had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
