Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You are the jesus of drinking
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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