will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
