Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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