Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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