I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
