The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
