Betty ford says i'm here all night
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
