If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize