I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
