She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
