Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
