even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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