I like to think it a success when the cops are called
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize