Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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