I feel great
I just peed on a car
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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