Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
