Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
