I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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