we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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