Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
