Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
