so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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