FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize