This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
