I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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