Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
