I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
