He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
