sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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