no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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