I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
this will be a night to untag.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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