No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
