There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
